Wee man returns to an unhappy home

Well it is time for my son to go back to school. I had hoped to have a job and be stable so he could start his 1st year at the big school stress free. EPIC FAIL!!! I have no job, not through lack of trying. and with each rejection letter I lose a little more of my self esteem.

I realise this looks like a self indulgent rant but that's how I feel, a pathetic failure as a mother and as a human being. He gets his dinner last because I cannot afford the blazer to sow on the blue ribbon that identifies him as a first year. The basic uniform comprising sweatshirt, trousers and black shoes was supplied by my mother....I now owe her £500, and although she has not said a word about it I feel the disappointment and disapproval in her eyes (this could be my imagination). I am on half rations food wise so that wee man can get a proper dinner so consequently i look like crap as my skin breaks out due to stress and lack of nutrition. I cannot wait to get back to university where I can get something resembling normality, hell the human contact alone makes it sound like bliss.

A week of failure

This week I had an interview at a telemarketing company and swung by a nightclub that needed night promoters. I really had thought i got the telemarketing job but heard nothing back. I am quite disheartened at the amount of thanks but no thanks emails i have and I must admit I am really panicking about my lack of employment. I am now on a tuna diet as that is all that's left, well kinda, I have some stuff in the freezer but if i turn on the oven then i can't afford the electric so tuna mayo it is. i spent this weekend visiting various friends it was nice to get some tea and biscuits and in one instance cake.

Another job interview tomorrow at a garage, over the phone it sounds like i am earmarked for the night shift....which is not bad. at least i will have a few long regular shifts instead of having to take dribs and drabs, keep you fingers crossed for me and I will let you know x

The beginning

I find myself almost destitute and therefore must find work. As a student i am not entitled to the usual government funding so i have packed my child of to relatives and i sit here eating what ever's in the tin and blanket bombing the net with my cv. This is a common fate for students but when raised as a concern officially it falls on deaf ears so I have taken it upon myself to document my reality during the summer period in the hope that somebody somewhere will pause for thought.

My choices are limited due to unseen disabilities, and finding employment is a lot harder than i had imagined. I cannot drive, I am unable to operate machinery or do heavy lifting...had I not given my child to my mum I would also be very limited in the hours I can work (btw thank mum x). As it is I will take any job that is suitable with any hours and any pay rate.

I did have some agency work for a week however, it was a promotion thing for a company that shall remain nameless (although forever engrained on my psyche). I had to stand in the middle of town with a flag strapped to my back, epically humiliating and excruciatingly painful, all for £6.20per hour....not to seem ungrateful but the unicef guys (supplied by the same agency btw) get £7.50 and all they have to hold is a clip board.

so i have 2 interviews for this week some more applications pending so we shall see what transpires, to be continued......